Did you know 2.9% of all married couples live long distance relationships? That comes to approximately 3.75 million couples! This subject is of considerable interest to me because, I am one of the 2.9%. It can be done! In fact, my husband and I credit it to why we celebrated our 35th year anniversary back in June.👰🤵
Our lives, seperated and shared, lent certain characteristics to our marriage. While we each worked independently, we acted as one. 💑 As expected, there are extra tweeks to add with a long distance relationship. Because this type of arrangement holds heightened challenges than a traditional marriage, obviously, emphasis upon the basic structure of any commitment such as trust, respect, and humility should exist. Like other married couples, we traveled through the honeymoon phase, the seven year itch, and mid life crises. Each addition to our family 🤰added more responsibility, less time, and more financial burden. Life lessons like “love isn’t everything” didn’t limit us because we learned first and foremost to continue as best friends.
Why would couples complicate their relationships by adding the challenge of distance? The trend that truly takes the numbers to new heights, is the onslaught of Online dating! There are obvious reasons distance becomes a factor, for instance military service and other career choices that mean commuting. It is not always something a couple stepped into knowingly💍, but out of adapting to uncontrollable circumstances. The economy often causes chasing work in different locations. Apparently, it’s not as uncommon as you may think!
It wasn’t always as easy as it is now! Yes, practice has paid off but communication and logistics advancement play an important part. Initially, my husband and I talked once a day during his absence. ☎️ Of course, this was back in the prehistoric times of long distance landline plans 😂. Mounting phone bills was not in the budget! One of the hidden factors for our household is double indemnity. For instance, we finance two households. 🏠🏡 Double the rent, utilities, transportation, and food in a long distance relationship 💲! Technology turned the tide on time in this case. It changed the way we communicate. The ability to text, Facetime, email, allows contact at any given time 24/7. Even the way we handle our finances is different. Instead of waiting for a check in the mail, with electronic funds transfers our funds are instantly available for either of us. Seemingly an incidental occurrence, it plays a large role in our life.
One area of consideration not discussed is the affect on children. A television show once aired called, “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home”. It was an animated series that featured a typical American family consisting of a father, mother, daughter, and son. Each episode headlined a situation that transpired at some given point had to be revealed to the father when he arrived home from work. Do not apply any special authority to one or the other parent. Like everything else in your relationship, parenting needs to be shared!
Top Communication Tips for Long Distance Couples
1. Text timely check ins including emoji hugs and kisses
2. Talk first thing in the morning and the last moment at night
3. Trade pics of current activities i.e. what your eating, the task your working on, etc
4. Take the time to video chat or FaceTime a couple times a week
5. Try to arrange visits around long weekends so travel time won’t apply too much
6. Create relaxing and simple activities during visits
7. Assign one partial day for personal business and errands together
8. Allow each other some privacy
9. Respect each other’s wishes
10. Touch each other simply by holding hands, hugs, passing caresses